WOW – I am just amazed at what I am doing!!  Who would of thought that someday I would be opening a retail adventure I know that I was miserable in the rut that I was in… I had no challenge in my world, besides trying to make ends meet.  This venture – yes it is going to cost some $$ to get it started – and yes I am scared of failure, loss of $$, loss of dreams – but I am doing it anyway!  Would I have done this pre-op – nope – I wouldn’t have had a direction to go.  I had no idea what I wanted to do.  God is so good, and so is my husband!! I wouldn’t be able to do this without either of them. It seems like everything is going  just as it needs to be.  Going a bit into our business here – but our finances have been REALLY tight… robbing Peter to pay Paul and Paul sending out the big guys to rough us up a bit – if you get what I mean – LOL! Then with Momma starting to need more time – looking at another decrease in $$ because of taking care of her.  Just the hope of this venture is giving me is a boost. (or its the increase in antidepressants – LOL)  Would I have done this or anything else if I hadn’t lost the weight, probably not… I would have wallowed in my own misery and shoved my face full of food.  I also wouldn’t have the energy to move all day and still go to work in the evenings. With this venture it has gotten my mind active and I’m able to talk and interact with people again!!  That is WONDERFUL! So yeah – just needed to share my excitement and joy of life with you all! Oh I almost forgot – my new website (including my own URL <grin>) www.pjsbariatrics.com

LOL – OK I swiped that term from one of the forums I read, but I really AM doing it!!  I’ve been kinda hemming and hawing around about blessings and support for the last couple days… now I’m going to explain a bit about them.  I (with a lot of Gary’s support ) am starting my own business.  It is going to be bariatric oriented sales.  Needless to say I can’t just jump in and have a storefront with bunches of products and services; so I’m starting off smaller and more select.  I’m going to provide items that I (and Gary) like.  Proteins and foods that are bariatric appropriate.  As things progress, more items will be available.  So if you have ideas about what you would want locally, let me know!!  One thing we will be providing – (locally here) – is that the products won’t get shipped to you, I’ll deliver them!!  Some of the products I have decided on so far are the new BE product lines (Love their stuff!!), Whey Low, Bariatric Advantage.  I also have inquiries out to a couple others. So if you like those and want to place a pre-order, let me know I am just so excited about this!!  It will be HARD work – but I think so worth it.  It is actually a blessing too.  This will be something I can do at home, while still being there for Momma.  We were wondering how we could do that as she is taking more and more direct care.  Also if you live in or near the Sacramento area – feel free to come by to taste and sample  – I can’t sell directly out of the home (against the rules) but I can visit with friends – LOL!

This has all come around I think as an answer to prayers – it will answer and help with so many stresses that have been happening in my life.  Feeling like I was going nowhere.  Sure I take care of the best little one ever, but… I’ve been with him for over 11years.  Going no further in my ‘career’.  Pay has stayed the same or been decreased!! Momma has slowly gotten worse and needs more and more care; so my hours at work might need to decrease some more in the future. With this new venture I will be advancing myself!! Doing some NEW with my life.  Doing something I can do as a ‘home based’ business for now while I (we) need it to be – but as a foundation for growth later.  So many possibilities and dreams right now…

Thanks for reading – now back to the little one I watch

Well I (we) have a URL for my (our) new venture… PJsBariatrics.com … and I (we) have our first debit… so my company is now in the red – LOL!  I have been working on my business plan – and yeah, its definitely a rough draft, but its started.  Its all about taking that first step right?  Well the step has been made Now to continue taking those steps!! Normally I would post my ‘blog’ on Facebook and the BE site, but I think I want to keep this semi private for a bit.  1) I don’t want anyone else to run with my idea and 2) Just in case I don’t follow through – I won’t have a bunch of folks knowing I fell on my face.  So for now, a name has been chosen, a URL purchased and the business plan started… tomorrow – keep stepping!!

OK – I’m distracting myself here… I have found that I’ve been doing good at home – not munching etc… but at work, in the evening… I am wanting to put everything in my mouth!! If I pack it – I eat it.  So today – I didn’t pack much at all and now I want to scrounge where I don’t belong.  So this is where the distraction comes in – LOL!  I also still have those ‘pounds’ and want/need to get rid of them!!  Yeah, yeah – I know – ‘be happy for what you have already accomplished’, ‘a couple pounds won’t hurt you’… well they are bugging ME!  So this is where the challenge comes in… the challenge to increase my activity.  MAKING the time to do something about it.  Today – knowing I can’t leave the property to go for a walk – not while watching Momma – I walked up and down the driveway for 15 minutes.  Thank goodness it’s a longer driveway, other wise I would get dizzy going in circles – LOL. Another challenge will be to KEEP doing this, and/or increasing my activity.  Now for the possibilities… and yes it will be a challenge as well.  It is a daunting possibility, but I’m starting to pursue it.  I KNOW it will take some serious work/time/commitment… I’m researching now, and I don’t know if I will be able to do this, but I sure am going to go as far as I can with it.  There are a few things that have to happen before though… we have to have the loan stuff settled – that is number one!  Also we have to have Momma taken care of.  I don’t think this possibility can happen with Momma still at home.  I see no way we can do both…  and third, I have to do the leg work, research and learning.  I know that there will be a large amount of ‘on the job’ learning and trial and error, but I’m hoping to seriously minimize that!!  Figure it took a couple years for us to have the RNY surgery – I’m thinking this will be about the same, with no sharp objects except for box openers – LOL…IF you read this – I will ask for prayers… for guidance and strength and perseverance!!  Well back to work – and not munching!!

I know – that’s a scary thought – LOL!  Gary and I were talking and an idea was bounced around.  The more I think about it the more possibilities it has.  Needless to say, it will take some research and IF we go through with the idea it would take $$ (what doesn’t?), but it is entirely doable!!  I don’t really want to expand on the idea just yet – its still in ‘thought’ and I don’t want to give anyone else the idea, have them run with it and lose out – LOL!  I will say though that it is ‘bariatric’ in nature – LOL – got you curious now Plus its not as if I don’t have enough on my plate as it is… doing Momma stuff, our stuff, volunteer stuff… yeah IF we did this – the Momma stuff would have to be resolved, our stuff would have to be done and I would have to give up a good portion of the volunteer stuff. I am requesting prayers though… for guidance, knowledge and strength about this idea.

We just went for our yearly lab draws – our first yearly lab draw.  Our last one was at the 6 month mark.  Now when we went to our PCP she was as surprise as I was at the limited labs requested… the surgeon didn’t even request a chem panel!  So needless to say – she added a few more tests in, which I’m happy about.  I must admit, we have been religious about our protein and vitamins!!

Well we are on take 3 or 4 for ‘our stuff’… so many hoops, no wonder people get frustrated, tired and walk away… not an option for us though – I refuse to walk away!!

You know  – I read several BLOGS.  Almost all of them are bariatric/WLS oriented.  I ‘blog’ – if that is what you call this – but not even close to what they do.  I, at one time, was thinking – boy wouldn’t it be kinda fun to be as ‘famous’ and as well read as <fill in the blank>.  I have now been reading about how folks comment on them… and not always nicely.  Makes me happy now that mine isn’t ‘famous’, and I don’t think I will push for it to be that way – LOL!  Although free samples would be fun

I’m doing mostly a LPT today… I have been consuming way to many calories recently.  MOST of them while I’m at work.  I sit in front of this computer and fill my mouth.  I also haven’t been measuring out quantity.  I have been going until I feel ‘full’, and sometimes even pushing THAT as well to the point of discomfort/pain.  Not what the pouch is for!!  I have gained back 5#… I know some are saying – OMG she’s complaining about 5 fricken pounds!!  Well yeah, I am.  There is the daily fluctuations, but these 5# are the center of those fluctuations.  ANYWAYS… they are bothering ME.  I don’t want to have 5-10# come back on and then not do anything about them.  Then another 5-10# and so on, and so forth.  So I guess ‘this’ is maintainance – LOL.

WOW – its already May – where has the time gone? It feels like I really haven’t DONE  anything but daily details.  None of the bigger tasks are getting done and its frustrating.  I would love to get stuff done, but if I’m not easily visible and accessible Momma spins and gets into ‘things’… but then when I just sit watching TV with her she sleeps, and nothing gets done… sigh… Had our yearly doctor appts.  Surgeons office – what a waste.  I haven’t seen the ‘surgeon’ since the one week  post op.  I really don’t have many good things to say about their after care.  I thank God I found the  forums… I would have been flying blind otherwise.  We saw our PCP today – she was also surprised at the lab work ordered or lack there of … so she added a bunch of vitamin levels.  I’m glad we have her as a doctor.  I seem to be holding steady at 170ish and Gary is still losing, but WAY slower than before.  That’s OK though… the wild ride is pretty much done, now we just need to stay here.  I think we will be able to – I plan on just continuing with what we’ve been doing (food and exercise wise).  I’m not planning on ‘adding’ anything – that’s how I got FAT to begin with.  I have to keep telling myself that – LOL!  I’m doing better – I hope.  I had those couple episodes of LOW blood sugar and that scared me a bit.  ‘Reactive Hypoglycemia’.  I just don’t want that to progress to where my BS drops eating the ‘right’ stuff, so I’m not eating the ‘bad’ stuff.

Well that’s all for now… at least that I want to put out in a public forum anyways – LOL!

Not sure what happened – and it’s none of my business, but a blog that I enjoy reading is taking a break.  I have a feeling  there were some unkind comments made by others… why do people have to do that?  She is such a warm and bubbly person – it shows through her posts.  She is fighting the same battles we (WLS folk) all are – and succeeding in her  way, and just sharing them.  I know that I for one will truly miss reading her blog.  There have been some really good insights that she has had, that shine some light on my struggles.  Sigh…